**Words of someone's wisdom**

I found these on a stickie. Don't know where I got them so I can't give credit. But I kinda like them. Does anyone know the source?

1. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

2. When you lose, don't lose the lesson

3. Follow the 3 R's:
Respect for self
Respect for others
Responsibility for all your actions.

4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.

5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.

6. Don't let a little dispute injure a great relationship.

7. When you realize you've made a mistake take immediate steps to correct it.

8. Spend some time alone every day.

9. Open arms to change but don't let go of your values.

10. Remember that sometimes silence is the best answer.

11. Live a good, honourable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll be able to enjoy it a second time.

12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.

13. In disagreements with loved ones deal only with the current situation. Do not bring up the past.

14. Share your knowledge. It is a way to achieve immortality.

15. Be gentle with the earth.

16. Once a year, go someplace you have never seen before.

17. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for one another exceeds your need for each other.

18. Judge your success by what you had to give up to get it.

19. Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.

**Post election schizophrenia**

The day after. It is always filled with a flashes of happiness and grief. Often mixed together. So I am thrilled at the composition of the House. I am hoping against hope for the Senate. I wish I could be a fly on the wall when Pelosi meets with Bush, AKA the Emperor With No Clothes. And Rumsfeld resigned.

But here locally, I am again reminded of what a frightenly conservative community I live in. Thank god for the urban areas of this state. Otherwise, we would be... well... like Utah.

One of the most honest, intelligent, thoughtful local state house candidates I could hope to represent a state, lost to a incompetent, embarrasing, stenographer-to-power, incumbent. His contributions came only from his district and from no corporations. Her contribution disclosure listed PAC after PAC. I keep wondering who were the individuals who actually voted for her - as none seemed to give her money. I went to sleep and it was looking good. I woke up and he is behind by about 300 votes.

A loss for local politics.

But, there is still the glow from another wonderful weekend at the coast. The storms that have pounded the PNW were just gaining strength on Saturday and it was a blast to watch the Columbia River toss up an amazing show. The coastal range waterfalls were explosive. No wonder Seaside and Tillamook flooded. Another weekend at the coast coming up. Maybe I will get in a rainy walk on the beach, but it may be a more quiet weekend catching up on work and catching up on the first season of Battlestar Galactica. I could kick my family in the ass for getting me hooked on that show. The DVDs are always checked out from the rental store! I don't know what I am going to do when I catch up to the current season. I don't have cable!

**Another great weekend**

There is nothing quite like the luxury of a 5 day weekend. Friday involved a great hike discovering a new two hour hiking loop in the hills west of town. Saturday, we painted the garage in preparation for kayak winter storage and creating a space for woodworking tools. Sunday we took the kayaks out for one last foray paddling among Chinook salmon leaping out of the water in the rivers off the coast. Monday and Tuesday were more subdued, with me working on my conference presentation at the coast while S. was on call. Tuesday more of the same, but both days were interspersed with nice walks around the rural countryside.

Today my day is consumed with a doctor's appointment, hours of student appointments, and pre-debate preparation for our state representatives. I have been so busy, I helped schedule a public debate for our candidates only to realize last weekend that I would be out of town for the debate this Friday night.

Somewhere in this mess I have to get to the post office and order my new "smoking" computer. Apple just realized its MacBookPro 15 inch with the Intel dual core processor. And my name is on one of them. I love my current laptop as it has been with me everywhere for 5 years. But I can't use the newest versions of my editing software and I am constantly pushing the limits of the hard drive, albeit with pictures and music more than work related files.

So I have to do everything today before leaving for St. Louis tomorrow and a quick visit to a conference before coming home Friday night and another fun, albeit only two day weekend.

**Fall weekend**

After a work-related retreat this past weekend (I would post pictures, but they are far too incriminating), I managed to escape for a lovely, even romantic weekend in Astoria. I have never visited before, but it now ranks as my current favorite NW coastal'ish town thus far. I say coastal'ish because it is not exactly on the coast, but on the Columbia river, near the bar.

This town boasts beautiful victorian homes, some of which have, not surprisingly, been turned into B&B's. The town has a walkway and trolley along the river, an impressive Maritime museum (I am told as we are saving that for the next visit) and an nice restored historic downtown boutique hotel where we will stay next time. This hotel, The Elliot, has a wonderful rooftop garden where you can hang out, enjoy the views, and stay warm with a gas fire pit. You can grab a glass of wine in thehotels wine cellar bar (it used to be the old family residence years ago) and head to the roof to enjoy the evening and watch the cargo ships move up and down the Columbia. Sea Lions bark and frolik along the shore and on remanents of the old docks.

The town has some awesome, funky restaurants. My personal favorite is the Columbian, run by Uriah since the 1970s. There are three tables and some bar stool seating. He cooks right in front of the bar. The dinner memu is determined by whatever he feels like cooking and whatever looks good when he heads to the dock in the afternoon. Very quirky and incredibly delicious.

We hiked up to the town's column at the top of the hill. You climb the 200 ft. to the top of the tower and then can fly balsam airplanes from the top (the are easy to find scattered in the woods below. When we got to the top, a storm blew in suddenly and we had to hold onto the railing at the top. It then dumped rain during the hike down. It is hardly troublesome as the weather is pretty temperate so one can be wet and not get chilled. I will try and post pictures if I can.

**Jogged a memory**

I was reading another blog - from someone I have never met, but that I somehow consider a friend and to whom I am concerned about these days. She mentioned the imminent arrival of ex husband #1 and #2. I don't know the details of these relationships or the complications that arise with their visit, but it reminded me of the most bizarre Christmas I have ever spent.

I remember it began at Thanksgiving. I was sitting around a big table with the kids, a lovely international grad student, and my dear friend/colleague and her E.R. physician husband. I can't remember if my ex called (not really likely as it didn't happen often) or if my son just came up with the idea on his own, but during dinner, my son asked if his dad could AND SPEND CHRISTMAS WITH US. In spite of a near irrepressible urge to simultaneously laugh at the absurdity of the prospect and burst into flames at the mere thought of him crossing the threshold of my front door, I had to swallow all the primal impulses and say, "why of course #1," (my longstanding name for my son in honor of Star Trek: Next Generation). After my response, I immediately turned to the doctor sitting to my right and said, " you can start filling out the Valium prescription NOW, thank you very much."

Now to add to the difficulty of the holiday arrangment, my buffer and general support system when dealing with my ex, namely my long time on again, off again partner... the "he's-just-not-into-you-guy" as described by my niece, was, at this time, off again and had been for the better part of a year.

And so, the holiday came. My ex showed up at church midnight mass (sans wife and dog) and then planned to come to the house at 7 AM Christmas Day with his wife (still sans dog, thankfully). I barely slept. But in the wee hours I remember looking at the clock and thinking I could get one more hour of fitful sleep before sucking down coffee in anticipation of the morning from hell.

I layed in bed and -no kidding about this - I saw, in the darkness, the shadow of an adult person in my doorway. My immediate horrific thought - a thought that shot through me with fear that exceeded the possibility that the shadow belonged to a mass murderer - was that my ex husband was standing in my doorway.

Son of a gun, if it wasn't the missing on again, off again partner, who drove all the way from Texas, non stop, knocked on my son's window to get let in and wandered into my room, just to see if...

I went through the day like a deer in headlights. The shocking image of now on again partner in my living room combined with the nightmarish image of my ex sprawled across my couch. No hallucinogen in the world can produce a trip as weird as this. And it is more evidence that if something like this can happen on the celebration day of the birth of the messiah... there cannot be a god.

**Ah, the beginning of the week**

On the heels of a wonderful weekend, another week of work begins. This weekend included a day in the city wandering around in beautiful weather. Wrapped around that trip was the painting project. Nothing luxurious - just the garage. It is brightening up nicely and S. will be able to move his woodworking tools in there for the winter. I am hoping new hardwood floors may be one of his winter projects. The cleaned up garage also makes for a good clean place to store the kayaks for the winter. My apologies to my son who lobbied for black as the interior garage color of choice. While I agree the color would be awesome under blacklights...

This week, much teaching to be done. Then there are the meetings... for promotion... for school re-accreditation and preparation for a weekend work retreat.

**How frighteningly ironic**

That this is breast cancer awareness month... and I noticed Dooce's new masthead... and the Today Show has been featuring breast cancer stories with abandon... and tonight I notice a lump.

**Alright, already**

There is no explanation for where I have been. It just seems that I don't have the time to catch up and post. Now so much time has past that it is pointless to sum up the last few months except to say.... F-U-N.

Much of the summer was spent kayaking, hiking, and playing with my new "friend." We even wandered back east to see my family. Yes, he agreed to this - a big step for someone who is normally shy and who has never been to the east coast. Add to that the challenge of meeting my extended family - notably full of energy that is often focused in several directions at once . My family can be formidible for anyone not willing to dive into the banter and chaos.

But a trooper he is. He has confessed that he is even "fond" of several of my siblings. Go figure. So am I.

But once returning to the west, school kicked in and it is a constant battle to keep my head above water. It doesn't help that I am trying had to keep weekends free - even expanded to include a Friday when possible.

Two weekends ago, I managed a 4 day kayak trip and last weekend included a three day horsecamping trip. this weekend is a wedding (not mine) and kayaking. October is full of work related travel, but this January we are off to spend three weeks in Death Valley. This will be a real test. Close living quarters, no bathroom, water rationing. All new for this suburban girl.

Here are a couple pix from the 4 day kayak. It was great. Remote as can be at a primitive camp area in a wildlife refuge. Saw a bald eagles and osprey and were awaken in the middle of the night by a chorus of coyotes surrounding us.









Rock climbing in the hills














Dog guarding kayaks. Don't want those osprey carrying off our boats. Good dog, Shiloh!



















Halfway through a 17 mile kayak - which by the way was a tad tiring. Everything Murphy's law said about headwinds... is true.












Sunrise over coyote hills.

**Blogger slacker, I am**

I don't really have excuses. I keep intending to update. I just don't seem to find the free time. I have been living almost half time along the coast.

I kayaked alot for a couple weeks, inbetween forays back into the valley to handle things at work. But then I realized my kayak had a crack in the gel coat. This prompted a call to the manufacturer who referred me to where I bought the kayak: REI. I could go on for some time, extolling the virtues of making purchases through REI - I would buy my house from them if I could - because they have the BEST return policy in the world. Returning the kayak for repair, in REI's eyes would keep me "out of the water" too long. So they took it back and ordered me a new one. Last I heard some of the employees were patching the kayak at the store and were wrangling over who was going to get it. So I am on kayak #2. I have not taken it out, however, because my kayak partner and increasingly, partner in all things, fell off a ladder at work and cracked some ribs. At least, that is what we suspect, While we await xrays verification, I hear a lot of.... "I am feeling much better..." Yeah, beer, ibuprophen and an intense desire to kayak again will keep one's mind off the reality that bones need time to fuse.

But added to the stress of a quickly diminishing summer is my increasing workload. Hey, doesn't anyone remember it is summer and the ONE benefit of this secular vow of poverty called teaching, is that I play for a couple months a year?!

I have been added to two committees involving summer work - all at the request of someone one does not turn down.

This weekend the PNW is due for a nasty heat wave, comparable to that experience around the rest of the country. I am headed for the coast (surprise, surprise) where the heat wave there means temperatures will hover in the 80's about 15 degrees above normal.

**Independence Day**

After all, it is for kids, isn't it? The west coast has a healthy disregard for rules, regs and the like and an enormous appetite for all things beach. This fireworks celebration bordered on mayhem with beach fires and significant explosives... everywhere....

**No description necessary**

**One of the better phone messages I could get**

Except for a message saying I won the lottery (which was not on my machine), the best message on my machine was that my kayak is ready for pick up. A week early! Tomorrow will be a hectic day of cleaning up the house, mowing the yard, watering the garden, vacuming out the car and then heading to Tillamook to gerry-rig a rack system to pick up the kayak on Saturday, but not before we go see the Tillamook rodeo parade and hike one of the heads.

I may be having too much fun.

**The mind of an engineer**

This has been floating around the Internet for a long time, but I found it again and still like it:

Engineering Final Exam Question for a Heat Transfer class:

Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

"First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave.

Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities: 1) If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2) If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over..

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, " it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you, and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A "

**Bridal shower observations**

1. There was only one game; it involved answering questions about the bride-to-be. I got 14 out of 20, which would have gotten me a nice prize, but someone took it before I could act. It is for the best anyway, because to actually leave a bridal shower with a gift, especially one won in a bridal shower game, would have ruined my credibility as a bridal shower curmudgeon.

2. My gift rocked.

3. I might have to have a bridal shower some day for the following reason:

After seeing the loot, it occurred to me (as I dropped some big bucks on a 1/2 share kayak and equipment) that if I married the guy with whom I will be timesharing this kayak, we could have done a bridal shower and just registered for all this at REI. As a result, I am officially softening my cynical views on bridal showers in principle - that is, assuming REI has a registry.

**New Toy**

After much deliberation and informative "conversating" with knowledgeable kayakers and a most interesting salesperson at REI, who has apparently eaten at my grandfather's diner in Brooklyn, I have ordered and will be half owner of this touring kayak:
It is a beauty. 16.5 ft, with a rudder and hard chines. I considered another one, but the wait for it would have been months, and I have used this exact model kayak already and really liked it. I will pick it up from REI a week from Thursday and be on the water over the July 4th weekend. This one is made of fiberglass, so it is substantially lighter than the plastic kayaks and within 5 lbs of the lightest materials available. The lighter version - a composite glass/kevlar/graphite - was quite a bit more money. In fact, I accessorized the entire boat (splash guard, life jacket, graphite oars, mounts for the car, etc.), for the difference in cost.

I know a certain daughter who is going to really enjoy this boat. It is fast, low to the water and built for distance touring. Current dream trip: 1-2 week paddle of the emerging slot canyons in Glen Canyon and Lake Powell. Next actual paddle - the sloughs off the Tillamook River - to put the kayak through her paces. Then comes the froliking in the breakers at Netarts Bay... as soon as I get a wet suit and master the wet exit in this baby. This fall, I will take her to a pool in Astoria where a woman up there can teach me how to roll this thing - a tad more challenging a task than in a white water kayak.

**The Weekend**

It begins with training. I spend the morning learning how to record books at the local PBS facility. I will be doing this for a program that sends out audio books on a subcarrier current or some other radio frequency for people who can't read. I like doing audio books. I have read a couple on tape in the past - Bridges of Madison County and A River Runs Through It. I would love to do those again.

Then I am off to the "bridal shower." I have decided to go "sober," - meaning no flask or spiking coffee, but will pump up on caffeine - a more socially acceptable drug.

Sunday, it is kayak shopping day. I am ready. Summer is going to come here one of these days and I want to be in the water.

Where the heck is the sunshine anyway?!

I am on the brink of a major housecleaning/cleanout session. I promise - children of mine - that I will call you before tossing any of your stuff:)

**Conversation**

"Hey G. I am thinking of using some of your college tuition money for a kayak. Would that be okay with you?"

"Not a problem. That is why I am here in the hot sweltering city, selling myself to corporate America. I can contribute more to my education and you... you can buy a kayak."

"Well, okay. I was feeling kinda funny about it cause I didn't think I would be mooching off you until after you got your degree."

**I never thought I would do this**

I have successfully avoided these for most of my 46 years. I managed not to attend any for my sisters. I did have a small one myself (didn't enjoy it), and agreed to go to one of a friends maybe 15 years ago (didn't enjoy it). But I have always said no thank you to students who have invited me.

But I couldn't decline the invitation of a student who is such a dear friend and whose kindness (namely watching my dog anytime I got the urge to skip down to South America and who gives me cards and little gifts at unexpected times) is disarming. So it is with a mixed sense of "I can't believe I am doing this" and "I would do most anything to make this young lady feel my appreciation for her" that I have agreed to attend her...

Bridal Shower.

She is having four of them actually, because there are so many people who care for her. I asked that I attend the one that would not require me dressing up (is that so much to ask?). So I will be "bridal showering" with the wives of dairy farmers.

Fitting, I think.

**There be tickets**

The summer is taking shape as I just bought very reasonably priced tickets to Philadelphia in August. After some conferences and training workshops in California, I jet back and immediately head out to the east coast. On tap... a quick trip to Maine to pick up #1 daughter and then a beautiful drive to Bob's Lake for a week at the cottage. Best of all, I won't be making this trip by myself. Cryptic, no?

**Making appearances at work**

Not my preferred summer activity, but I am actually going to work today. I have to make some headway on a couple essays and edit a video. So there looms before me 40-50 hours of work I must complete inbetween summer activities before the end of the month. I am thinking 6 hours at the office today (including a lunch meeting) and I am off to the coast for the evening. Maybe if I am lucky... a nice sunset.

**Who needs a shrink when there is...**

Horse Camping!

Meet the nicest Quarter Horse I have ridden in years: Savannah Lynx


And of course, one of the best parts of horse camping is watching Shiloh relax. The transformation is glorious when she gets a few days out in the woods, running loose, eating camp dog food (kibble with a few extra treats), sleeping in a sleeping bag, and going for loooong rides with the horses.

Day1:
Day 2:

Day 3:

I hope to post some more pictures of horse camping as soon as I load them.

**Wonder weekend**

What a great weekend. If this is any indication I am going to have a highly memorable summer.

I spent Saturday in a touring kayak in an estuary area on the Oregon Coast. 3.5 hours of paddling non stop - my arms were a little sore that evening. But I will be doing it a lot this summer, so I imagine I will get used to it. Had a nice evening with a bonfire-send-off- graduation party for an exchange student living at the farm where I was staying. Sunday, I hiked the Tillamook spit - not too far, maybe 8 miles total with about half along the beach. The bayside part of the hike was scattered with wild strawberries. A couple of nice rain showers blustered in, but nothing to dampen the enjoyable hike. I ended up staying Sunday night as we had a wonderful dinner at a beachside cafe and watched the sun set. It was too late to trek all the way back. The added bonus of staying until that Monday morning, was that I got to see a calf born. The calf needed some help as it was breech. But the calf is doing fine now.

I am off horse camping in the Cascades this morning. More news and some pixs when I return.

**Who cares if it might rain**

I am off to learn to kayak this weekend with a very attractive gentleman.

A great start to the summer, if I do say so myself.

**Bob's Lake**

I have been thinking about this lake. My family knows it well. It is a long lake - maybe 15 miles long, in the Rideau Lake region of Ontario. There is several hundred miles of shoreline, which should invoke an image of lots of craggly coves. My family is going there for the 4th of July. It is too far and too expensive for me to join them this year. But it has been a couple years since I have been there. It got kind of hard to go when my brother - who owns the cottage on the lake and generously makes it available to all of us - would come with his latest girlfriend. That invariably involved small children, some his and some belonging to the latest girlfriend. There would be too much cigarette smoking. Now my brother has sworn off woman. I don't know what that means, but I hear reports that it is more pleasant to go there. So now the heart strings are tugging.

It must have something to do with the fact that my family grew up with "summer homes" to visit. My mother's family had a house in northern New Jersey. It was in the hills, with lakes and woods. There was an old overgrown pool at the edge of the woods and I remember a broken ceramic mermaid water spout at one end. We would walk with my grandfather through the woods. After his stroke, we would go back there on our own. There were good climbing trees in the yard and a grapevine trellis that you could walk through. My grandmother would pick dandelion greens in the back yard for the salad. At one point there was a wild animal park nearby.

My father's parents had a house on Long Island, right on the Sound. It was a very large rambling shingle home, with a big screened in porch overlooking the Sound from high up on the bluff. It was not winterized and was only opened in the summer. The driveway from the road wandered about 1/4 mile through woods saturated with poison ivy. Once, I thought I struck gold when I found a surfboard in the woods. Turns out it was my cousin David's board. At least that is what he said and he was bigger than me.

We would walk down this long boardwalk to the beach. Traversing the boardwalk without shoes was risky. Splinters were the price to pay. The top of the beach was sandy, but as you approached the water the beach became rocky. One summer pastime involved walking the beach and looking for polished glass. It could take years but eventually you could collect enough to fill a large vase. My aunt made a lamp base out of a container of this multicolored glass. Blue glass was always the most treasured and rare. I figured it came from broken Noxema jars. After a day at the beach, we all would shower in this makeshift shower in the garage - mostly to keep sand out of the house. Smart thinking when there were lots of little rugrats running around the place in the summer. I remember my grandfather feeding the raccoons and seagulls in the yard. I remember him getting us maraschino cherries from the cabinet. I remember my aunt making lunch cold cut trays with breads and condiments, set out on the long table every day for lunch. It would be the one time I would get to eat salami.

Well Bob's Lake brings back those memories. It is the summer cottage for our kids. We are hoping to all meet there for a week in August. If you want to see some pictures of the lake, I found this site.

**Namesake and Other Dog-Related News**

A big thanks to Brangelina for naming their new baby, Shiloh.....

after my dog. Well chosen.


And because dogs rule in Oregon, check out the recent court verdict. A guy, who ran over his neighbor's dog, for which he served 90 days for first degree animal abuse, now has been found liable in civil court to the tune of $56,000. It breaks down as follows: $50,000 in punitive damages, $6000 for pain and suffering and $400 for the value of a 14-year -old dog. I guess it is better than the cool $1.625 million the plaintiffs requested, in part for loss of companionship.

While the court did not recognize the loss of companionship because dogs are defined as property (a flawed analysis if you ask any dog owner), the court did buy the intentional infliction of emotional distress argument.

Oregon is one dog friendly state. The only place possibly more obsessed with dogs may be France, as evidenced by the French production crew at the trial filming a documentary.

**Summer Break: Day One**

Today was a pretty day. High 70's. Sunny. I spent most of it at work trying to make progress on several projects that need to be wrapped up before the end of June. I did get home about 4 PM, cut the grass and worked on taming the beds in the front yard (in part out of guilt from my neighbor ragging on me to clean up the beds). I can't believe at my age I can still be motivated by guilt. And nonfamily generated guilt to boot! It is more like keeping-up-with-the-Joneses guilt. But not self-induced.

I sent this observation to a dear, sweet friend of mine as I described my day:

Silly though, even cutting the grass and digging weeds can be pleasant and even contemplative - in spite of it smacking of suburbia. I think it is because I feel like I have accomplished something when there is dirt under my nails. Now how feminine is that? I probably should have read more magazines like Seventeen when I was younger.

A manicure would be totally wasted on me.

Tomorrow is another full day of work. Probably more of the same for Thursday. Friday morning, I hit the salon to mask all the grey caused by the birth of my daughter;).

Yes, dirt under my nails is ok, but grey roots are unacceptable, especially because I want to look my very best when I go sea kayaking Saturday. Doesn't everyone?

Looking ahead, I have 3-4 days of horsecamping awaiting me next week. Not a bad start to summer if you ask me.

My apologies to those of you working.

Really.

**Feeling the need to read!**

And all I can think about , other than how I get out on my next romp in the woods, is what would be a good book to read. So this is a request...

Can you recommend a good summer reading book. Fiction or really compelling non fiction. Something with an impact. Something compelling, something fun, something I can't put down.

What's on your must read list?

**Tiputini**

I came out of the shower this morning to hear the end of an NPR feature where Alex Chadwick was talking about the sounds that insects use to communicate with one another. It turns out he was reporting from Tiputini Biological Research Station in Ecuador - where my daughter spent several weeks doing research. Her stories from the area are even more fascinating. as they involve living in tree tops, nasty fish, and broken generators.
You can read the script or even listen to it at the the link for NPR's radio documentary: Journey to the Edge of the Amazon.

**It's beginning to look a lot like summer**

Well not by the weather which is more like early March, cool and raining. Although that is my personal assessment of what the weather is like. The weather folks say this is typical May weather. In fact we have had only half the normal rainfall this month. And I was just getting used to the 7 consectutive days of sunshine.

But I am writing my last final exam for the year. It is nearly impossible to concentrate. I am sure I want this week over more than my students. I have four study sessions to hold, one exam to finish preparing and then between now and noon Friday I have two exams to administer, grade and about 50 papers to grade. I can do this, because summer awaits me.

Even better, this Saturday awaits me. On that day, after grades are turned in, but before the drudgery of sitting through graduation ceremonies, I get to hike a very popular trail in the Columbia Gorge region, called Eagle Creek. It will take some time to get there, but it is, apparently, worth the drive. And my hiking partner is a nice gentleman that I met at a student's graduation party (who would have guessed such a place would be a potential source for a date). He was the nicest looking guy in the room by my reckoning and my student's mother introduced me to him. In all fairness, he had been the subject of conversation before, although I had never seen him until this party. My student had mentioned that I should meet him, because, in her words, he and I would have a lot in common.

We both apparently don't like Bush - the foundation of all great relationships.

I wonder if eHarmony.com has built that into their extensive personality profiling questionnaire?

**How Could You NOT Love a Town That Has This...?**

Yes this lovely town is home to the second largest Alien Daze festival, second only to Roswell, NM. It is odd, quirky and draws most of the town to the main street.


All sorts of "unusual" people show up for the parade.... many, not surprisingly from California.

I didn't know about this festival the first time I was in town during May. I pulled to an intersection at the south end of town and looked at the cross walk where I saw this man below, waiting for the light to change. I am not sure I can articulate what I was thinking about recent move to the Pacific NW at that time. Let me just say, you would NOT see a Klingon crossing the street in Southwest Michigan.

He has been back for the parade every year since. This year he was crowned King. Well done.


The highlight of the parade was the band. If I knew how to put up a sound file, you could listen to them.


The other key festival in this little town is Turkeyrama. Let's just say THAT festival embarasses me.

**Paul Verlaine**

Il pleure dans mon coeur
Comme il pleut sur la ville;
Quelle est cette langueur
Qui pénètre mon coeur?

Ô bruit doux de la pluie
Par terre et sur les toits!
Pour un coeur qui s'ennuie
Ô le chant de la pluie!

Il pleure sans raison
Dans ce coeur qui s'écoeure.
Quoi! nulle trahison? . . .
Ce deuil est sans raison.

C'est bien la pire peine
De ne savoir pourquoi
Sans amour et sans haine
Mon coeur a tant de peine!

From Romances sans paroles (1874)

Translation...:

It rains in my heart
Like it rains on the village.
What is this pain
That penetrates my heart?

Gentle, the sound of rain
Pattering roof and ground!
Ah, for the heart in pain,
Sweet is the sound of rain!

Tears rain-but who knows why?-
And fill my heartsick heart.
No faithless lover's lie? . . .
It mourns, and who knows why?

And nothing pains me so--
With neither love nor hate--
A simply not to know
Why my heart suffers so.

**Le Petit Prince**

On ne voit bien qu'avec le coeur. L'essential est invisible pour les yeux.

**Favorite line from Babette's Feast"

Old Lorenze Lowenhielm: [last words to Martina] I have been with you every day of my life. Tell me you know that.

Old Martina: Yes, I know it.

Old Lorenze Lowenhielm: You must also know that I shall be with you every day that is granted to me from now on. Every evening I shall sit down to dine with you. Not with my body, which is of no importance, but with my soul. Because this evening I have learned, my dear, that in this beautiful world of ours, all things are possible.

** A Favorite Shakespeare Passage**

Sigh no more, ladies,
Sigh no more,
Men were decievers ever,
One foot in sea,
And one on shore,
To one thing constant never,
Then sigh not so,
But let them go,
And be you bithe and bonny,
Converting all your sounds of woe,
Into hey, nonny, nonny!

**Damn, he died**

Nuff said.

**Grey's Anatomy**

Oh! My God! A well written original show just had the most incredible build up to the season finale. I am not answering the phone or anything. A friend is TIVO'ing it for me cause I know I am going to want to watch it again.

I love Denny. He better not die.

**Reveal thyself**

Who is the person reading this blog from Indianapolis? Will he/she 'fess up? E/Inquiring minds want to know. Have no family there. Have no friends there. Well there was one person there. This was a media person who for reputational reasons shall remain anonymous. We met many years ago and had a healthy debate over localism and broadcast television. In the years since we have had some fun conversations together. I was his media "conscience." He called me the philosopher professor. And then there was his exquisite taste in restaurants and wine. Fond memories.

But I digress...

Who are you?

**Couple pixs**

Typical day around the house. I was working on filing paperwork - it was sprawled on the bed as I sorted things - and turned around and Shiloh was here - the only soft place currently available in the bedroom.



I planted the garden this evening, mostly in an effort to avoid grading. Now I am posting on my blog to further avoid grading. If I play my cards right I will avoid grading all the way until Boston Legal begins and, then, will have no more time for grading. Wish me luck.

**Homestretch**

I am starting the second to last week of teaching. That means 8 more lectures. That means 12 more hours of class time. That also means I have to start thinking about final exams.

The last wave of resignations are coming in at work: an administrator who has earned the scorn of many because he is really good at his job of cutting expenses. And we all know that human resources (read: compensation) is one of the biggest expenses for a business. Even the education business. Another colleague resigned with the official explanation that he missed New Mexico. I totally understand that. I miss New Mexico and I haven't lived there.

Another dear friend resigned a couple months ago, without an official explanation. But she and her colleagues were like oil and vinegar. Now she will do the amazing things she does in Bozeman, Montana- currently ranked as one of the top five places in my list for retirement.

I will not be resigning this year. I am too tired to think about where to go.

My dear Las Vegas travel partner is now in Nigeria. He will come back to the States in a month to crate up the rest of his belongings and his car and return to his home for at least a year. He might pop in for a visit out this way on his last swoop to the States if time permits.

His last visit here was a couple years ago. He showed up in the middle of March with a convertible. Bad move on his part as it was drizzling constantly. Of course, I was so excited to ride in a Mustang convertible, I made him drive up and down the coast in the freezing rain. He kept pleading to raise the roof. I was not accomodating.

I am going to try and go over to his stomping grounds for awhile next summer. He has lots of room - he bought a 5 bedroom home in Abuja for less than the cost of my car.

I want to ride the Vomit Comet!

**Bears, bears and more bears**

Just read about the bear attack in the Great Smoky Mountain National Park. Watched Grizzly Man recently. There is a sale starting at REI tomorrow. Bear spray is 30% off. It is on my list.

Okay, and so are convertible pants, an overnight kit and anything I see while I make my way through the store.

**The upside and downside of the 3 week relationship**

Downside: No free place to ski next winter at Whistler:(
Upside: Discovered a new salad dressing I like - Annie's Goddess dressing with tahini:)

See, there is a bright side to everything.

**Brief but fun**

A little blind-sided, I must say, but blond-guy made plans for dinner last night and then bailed on the whole "not yet a relationship really" this morning. Wasn't expecting it. Didn't pick up on it in very affectionate emails and long telephone calls to me. It is only the second time in my life this has happened to me - the guy bailing first. I am usually the one to bolt. Almost forgot how it feels. Not particularly pleasant. But glad it happened before I felt like I was losing something. Short, but fun.

**one more thing**

And then there is his time share at Whistler Creek. Did I mention that?

**Let's just say there will be a third date**

How do you say no... or rather why would anyone say no to seeing again someone who takes you on a bike ride around interesting neighborhoods in Portland and revels at the gardens he sees. Then he takes you back to his way-to0-cute and unbelievably expensive little bungalow (as is all housing in Portland) and whips up an incredible salad of organic spring greens, pecans, carrots, radishes, mushrooms and home roasted peppers and chicken. All served with a baquette and dipping oil and balsamic vinegar. Did I mention he is 6'2" and blond? At 50! Okay, greying a bit, but hey, I don't even remember the original color of my hair.

Don't even try to mess with me, you totally would go out with him again.

**Sin City**

Well, I just got back from a place I never would have chosen to visit. But the temptation of seeing my dear friend and two days of wandering around among building upon building of media technology was too much to resist.

I learned a lot about glidecams, jibs, HD cameras, i/o breakout boxes, and much more. I gotta attend this conference again. I arrived on the last day of the NAB conference and intended to spend Friday taking in all that is Las Vegas. But an academic conference for broadcasters began the next day and I was lured into some Apple training sessions and ended up staying all day learning Aperature, multicam editing on FCP, HD compatibility with FCP, and a session on Motion. All geekspeak and frankly a sad statement about how I ended up spending my weekend to "cut loose" with the one person who would never kiss and tell. But alas, we both apparently are geeks cause he was right there at the workshops with me.

My most outrageous moment in the city of secrets, sharing a entire PITCHER of sangria over the BEST tapas I ever have tasted. Yep, that is the extent of my wildness.

Most of my pictures were taken on the way to the airport,






























































with the exception of the Star Trek themed slot bar area in my hotel. Almost justified how little I went out:





















Date update: Only spent one evening with him so far - glass of wine and then, though not planned - dinner. We seem to be hitting it off. That was just a week ago. Have talked to him on the phone or exchanged emails almost daily. He surprised me at the airport when I returned last night at midnight. Bonus points for that. Tomorrow, I will see him again. Bike riding in Portland is the plan. Weather will cooperate. My writing deadlines will not.

**Oh, what a beautiful weekend**

This is one of those weekends that helps you to forget the rain that permeates the winters in this part of the country. LeAnn, you would have wanted to be here this weekend. Sunny, 70s.

I even managed to get outside this weekend, in spite of my writing deadline. I did yard work. It was so beautiful, I didn't even mind. I now have edges around my yard. Actually gutters would be more accurate. I guess I got carried away with edger.

I had my yard powerraked, aerated, seeded, fertilized, and limed. It looks like a hurricane went through the yard. Still have some weeding to do and the vegetable garden still is not planted. Argh.

On the upside I had a date this weekend. Miracles happen.

**Thoughts from a friend**

My dear friend, who knew me back when I was still married, sent me an Easter card and I responded with a quick update of life (see previous posts). He sent me a nice email reminding me that I could at least hold onto the symbolic victory of the court's recognition of my effects. He quoted Orwell in a testament to my efforts:

But the thing that I saw in your face
No power can disinherit
No bomb that ever burst
Shatters the crystal spirit.

So I am left to take comfort from the little recognition the court did acknowledge after 12 years of scrimping and saving:

Based on the evidence, the court finds the father is voluntarily underemployed. He chooses to live in Italy where there is signficiantly less pay and less opportunity. There was no evidence that his children were primary in any of his decision-making. Although his primary responsibility was still to his minor children, all of his decisions were based on the needs of his new wife and himself....

The father has known for ten years this expense was imminent, yet there was no evidence he made any financial plans to fulfill his commitment. The evidence confirmed that despite the diligence of mother and the children in obtaining scholarships, the college expenses will, at times extend beyond what father's regular child support would be for that child under the guidelines. To force mother to bear this burden at twice the rate of the father and cap the father's obligation under the statute would be patently unjust, and create an oppressive obligation for mother with no evidence that she could possibly satisfy it. Father's argument that he can't fulfill his promised obligation is based on choice, not on ability. The evidence was clear that since the dissolution, mother has worked hard and long to obtain a high level of education to increase her earning power and maximinze her potential. In addition, mother has relied on the parties' agreement in formulating her financial plans to include her responsibility for the college expenses. Contrarily, father has choiser to live where opportunity is scares but life is "healthier." Instead of preparing for his upcoming obligation to his chidren, father maintained his "healthy" lifestyle by taking a year long sabbatical....

Still, in the end, this is feel good language, but won't cover fall tuition.

**The sitemeter**

I woke up this morning and while I was checking email I thought that maybe it wasn't such a good idea that I said "fuck" in my blog last night. Maybe I should change it. Then as I was purusing the sitemeter info, I notices that someone from Bulgaria was on my site. I look at the referring URL. It was a search engine. The search words? "He fucked me." Now that made me laugh. What could this dude (or dudette) possibly be looking for?

**One thing I miss about a partner**

Today was a hard day. About 10 minutes before I taught my last class for the week the court's decision showed up in my email box.

As expected it was a mixed bag of results. They imputed income to my ex, but probably only half of what he could have been making if he, like me, had made supporting his kids a priority and held a steady job. Most public school teachers make more than academics anyway.

But the tragedy in the court's analysis was that the conservative imputation of income made our incomes more disparate and thus opened up the settlement agreement for modification. This was what I feared would happen, because common law and statutory law were not in my favor (Thank you Chalot and the fucking "father's rights-to-screw-their kids' movement). The court, thankfully held up the part of the agreement requiring we pay for up to five years of undergraduate education. And the court kept an expansive view of what was a "college expense." But the court changed the ratio from the 50:50 we had agreed on (even though our incomes were never even-when we signed it the ex made more than me), to 63:37. So I now am responsible for two thirds of medical, dental and education costs retroactive back to Nov. 2004 (when my daughter turned 19 and the first legal filing occured).

So in effect, because I worked steadily and tried to increase my income, and he fucked around and refused to work consistently, I get to pay more of college now. If I had, instead, squandered my savings on a year's vacation or took my kids' college fund and paid off MY mortgage, or never took an academic position and stayed in Colorado and maybe married the man that my niece believes was "just not that into me," my ex could be paying the majority of the educational costs.

I get no legals fees and was actually assess $900.00 of legal fees for the ex, because his attorney didn't get our discovery on time (because my attorney's office didn't send it until right before trial even though I sent it 4 months earlier). Yes I will be asking my attorney to cover that part of the ruling.

For all I know the debacle could continue. His attorney keeps hinting at appealing. There was nothing in the judges ruling addresses how to compel the ex to pay. There are many loose ends.

Welcome to the American Court of "Equity."

So to the point of all this. This is when I miss having a partner who would give me a hug, let me cry a bit, and tell me everything will be alright. I could use that. There has never really been anyone who I could talk to who will just listen. Everyone is too busy to just listen. Never had it in my marriage. Never had it in the 12 years since. I have spent my whole life having to be strong. By myself. And I am exhausted.

**Correcting the Record**

My son, in response to my re-telling of the story in the previous post:

" I didn't have the knife - E. did. I had the machete."

**It was my brother who had the knife!**

This was my daughter's response to a comment I made in our conversation this evening. She mentioned at one point how cool her brother is. That characterization came about as part of a larger conversation on how her father has done nothing to help either of them attain their educational goals. But when all is said and done they will be just fine and then, I hope they remember the people who were there for them:

Aunts, uncles and a grandmother and cousin who do things like:

• pick them up at the airport
• house and feed them over breaks
• offer cars for transportation
• help them find meaningful summer work when it looks like flipping burgers may be the only option
• visit them in foreign countries for holidays so they are not alone
• open their home as a base for summer employment

I love my family.

But to get back to the statement that heads up this entry, I reminded my daughter that she can be there for her brother over the next few years helping him in some of these ways as he winds up college. It was at this point that she then commented that her brother was cool.

I took this opportunity to remind her that they didn't always get along so well. I would sometime get calls after school with "he did this or she did that." My response was, if there was no arterial bleeding then don't bother me at work. So I told my daughter in this evening's conversation that I remember getting a frantic call at the office one late afternoon with the words, "E. has a knife and she is going to kill me." My daughter emphatically and quickly corrected the record, "It was my brother who had the knife!"

My thought:

Did it really matter?

**Some new favorite phrases**

Went to a luau last night. As part of the cultural education I learned a new phrase. Chill-ax. It is going up on my office door tomorrow morning.

I also watch Cold Mountain again. It was more powerful than I remembered it. One of the final lines stuck with me as Ada summed up her life of waiting for Inman, him coming home and then her carrying on without him.

"Clouds, clouds... and then sun. "

That is how my life has felt these past 15 years. Lot's of clouds. But in recent years... Sun.

**Tahoe - I am in love**

I have never been to Reno. But that was my route to Tahoe. In fact I have never been to Nevada, or Atlantic City. So imagine my surprise at what I saw as I walked off the concourse at the airport:

If I was a luckier person....










Nothing prepared me for the beauty of Tahoe. I spend five wonderful days with wonderful people - quickly becoming my favorite travel companions:















They got me on the black diamonds and remained infinitely patient when I needed to catch my breath. Ah, to be in my 20's again.












Who would have suspected such a beautiful place could straddle the borders of Nevada and California. The most beautiful place I have seen since southwest Colorado, British Columbia and Alberta.











This is a view of the bowl we skied at Alpine Meadows.















We finished one day with a stop at Lake Tahoe. It reminded me of Detroit Lake in Oregon, but on a grander scale.

Over half my life is over. How do I spend the remaining part in a place like this.

What are the possibilities I could meet a guy who lives in Tahoe?









Thanks for a wonderful trip, everyone!

**Magic Moguls**

Better than magic mushrooms.

And legal.

**Thank god for recorders**

Cause I don't know what I just listened to for the last 90 minutes on the phone. It wasn't a court order, that is for sure. It started like one, then discussion ensued and now the judge will be thinking things over some more and issuing a written decision. My attorney is talking a likely appeal. I can't afford it. He thinks the ex's attorney will do it pro bono so she can get the high profile published opinion on a murky area of law.

I remember the judge chastising the ex for never making a single decision that put his children first. And saying it was his choice to limit his work options and thus imputed him income. And she agreed that all the expenses I have paid for the kids college are legitimate. But it is the nasty unclarity of whether there has been a substantial and continuing change that opens up the settlement agreement to modification.

And there are the legal fees. They are SO HIGH and I am getting nothing back. As my attorney said. What is at issue here is by how much you will lose financially.

I will open a bottle of wine in a couple days and listen to it again.

**Stomach in knots**

I am sitting here unable to do anything while I wait for the Court conference call to come through in about 2 minutes. Then I will learn how the Court will rule on college expenses for my kids. Strict, narrow interpretation of the law, or will the magistrate use the discretion and abiguities in the most recent court decision affecting this matter and act with equitable discretion? This decision has been rescheduled two times already. It is unnerving.

Hmm, courts of equity don't have the death penalty at their disposal. Too bad. It might have made me rethink my stance on that issue.

Phone is ringing....

**No time to teach**

Yep, it is official. I no longer have time to teach. There are too many other things to do. Plan the new television building, advise the radio station, watch old episodes of Star Trek, and plan trips to other places.

This week, I join the "fun group" in Tahoe for skiing, snowboard, snowshoeing, eating, drinking hot tubbing, and other wholesome, possibly slightly inebriated fun. I thought that would be the last hurrah for the semester and then I could really focus in on teaching. But now I am presented with an opportunity to attend the National Association of Broadcasters convention in Las Vegas. Not having ever been to the conference, or to Las Vegas, the reasons for going are self-evident, even without bringing up the fact that it will mean two less lectures to give.

But the real fun of this trip is that I might be able to help my dear friend spend an ENORMOUS amount of money outfitting his new Nigerian film company. Yes, he goes back and forth to Nigeria several times a year, which brings up another enticement: He is convinced that NW Airlines will be out of business in the not-to-distant future, so he is trying to use up a ton of frequent flyer miles. Translated, that means a free ticket for yours truly. It would be an absolute blast to hang out with him as we always have fun together. Are there any possible reasons, short of being fired, that I shouldn't go?

Add to this a couple of planned camping trips this spring and I am running out of weekends, which is when I do household chores and take care of the lawn. Unlike a certain niece of mine, I actually like the yard covered in something from the grass family and generally not higher than my knees. Plus, there are other essential weekend chores like playing with the dog, hiking with the dog, sleeping in, making espresso and relaxing, that must be done on a regular and frequent basis. So all these trips would push those essential domestic chores into the work week. I already have to sacrifice Fridays to extra sleep and the occasional horseback ride, so all that is left is to start canceling classes.

**Bears and me**

It is not mystery to people who know me, that I love the outdoors. I am a wilderness adventurer wannabe. High on my list is to watch Grizzly Man or any other film prominently featuring the wilderness. I always have wanted to wander around Alaska.

But those who know me also know that, in addition to my intense fear of plumbing (for which there is no other explanation than my older brother threatening to flush me down the toilet during my formative years), is my fear of bears. Come on! These mammals have no natural predator unless you count a sentient being with an automatic rifle (pistols only make bears cranky).

So this joke is particulary dear to me.

Two brothers are sleeping in a tent and they hear rustling outside. Shortly, the rustling turns to grunts and clanging of cookware and the such. They realize a bear is in the camp. The younger brother immediately gets out of his sleeping bag and starts putting on his running shoes. The older brother, say's with a voice riddled with fear, "Are you insane?! You can't out run a bear!" As his younger brother ties up his last shoe, he stands, looks at his camping partner and says calmly.... "I don't have to out run the bear.... I only have to outrun you."

**Lessons. Brought to you by your friendly snowboard**

Lesson 1: I gotta work out more.
Lesson 2: Megadose Advil as a preventive measure
Lesson 3: Accept that a 7 hours night ski window does not mean you are CAPABLE of boarding for 7 hours.
Lesson 4: Beginner boarders are not graceful. Rather they mimic the look and actions of a beached whale.
Lesson 5: It follows from lesson 4 that beginner snowboarders should avoid boarding locations frequented by one's students.
Lesson 6: Because it follows from Lesson 5 that such a beginner snowboarder might become the subject of amusement and annonymous ridicule on various student discussion lists, or worse, on Facebook.
Lesson 7: Don't cave into the tempting conclusion that snowboarding is for the young. Instead refer to Lessons 1 & 2.

** Who am I?**

My niece has this personality mapping thing going. So I thought I would try. If you want to offer input into what I am like, go for it. Really, I can take it.....

http://kevan.org/johari?name=SheWhoMust


You can see how the results develop from time to time.

**Goin' Snowboarding**

Back late tonight. Stay tuned for injury report.

**NY Times Marriage Quiz**

An editorial in the NYT today talked about marriage and had a link to a marriage quiz. Not particularly worthwhile on its own, but some the actual answers were surprising.

For example, more men than women say that marriage is their ideal lifestyle. Men tend to become more content with their marriage over time and women less so. And apparently women want out of the marriage more often than men.

So in a way the difference in contentment makes sense. The institution of marriage has never been truly equal. Women, on the whole, I think give up more in the relationship than men.

The stats also suggest that men tend to look for someone fimilar in education and earnings to themselves.

That makes sense, although I think the results would be different when the women is more educated or makes more money. Some of this I know from experience.

Maybe most interesting, is that the divorce rates among born again Christians (35%), Pentecostals (more than 40%) and in the Bible Belt are about the same or higher than atheists and agnostics (37%).

** Don't know why it seems funny**

On my voice mail this morning was a message from our computer wizards saying "We have achieved network stability." They went on to say they found a piece of defective equipment in the network. Granted the network was kind of irratic yesterday, but the way it sounded on the phone brought an image of what they found to mind, not unlike this image

**Deconstructing V-Day**

Actually, I don't know that I can deconstruct Valentines Day. Personally, it is perennial disappointment. Disappionting because of being bombarded by messages that it is a day of enduring gestures. Unless the day mimics the flower, diamond, chocolate ads, it somehow seems disappointing.

So it should come as no surprise that I was both surprised and disappointed. I received an unexpected electronic card and real flowers from a long time friend, who, when I think about it, often surprises me with things like this. And I received flowers from the person who according to the script, is the one who would typically be sending me flowers. But things are weird so (I know, I know, maybe he just not that into me) the flowers while kind and maybe a herculean effort given the weirdness, seem contrived, prefunctory... you get the idea. Damn valentines day engine of commerce... building unrealistic hopes and expectations....

Most of all, I mostly think of this holiday as the birthday of my glorious son. I called him shortly after midnight last night and wished him happy 19th. I was the first one to do it. Yes!

**Orion*

I looked to the sky from my front yard this evening and saw the constellation, Orion. I remember looking to the star-filled sky on the way back to our hut in the jungle village, Salazar Aitaca, and seeing Orion. I imagine, maybe tonight, my daughter is looking at the night sky from the Galapagos and seeing Orion.

It is not such a big world, really.

**First Day of Class**

Thankfully over. But it is always fun to watch the expression on the kiddies faces as I talk about the courses... and the requirements....

Today in my law class, I talked about precedent and how a court can get around precedent by distinquishing facts, modifying precedent or outright overruling precedent. That led to an interesting discussion of the new SCOTUS and the dynamic in place with J.'s Roberts and Alito. I mentioned that rather than overrule Roe v. Wade, the conventional wisdom seems to suggest it will be "modified" over time. We liberal types prefer the word "chipping away" at the precedent, but since that phrase was not a choice in the legal vocabulary list I distributed today students will make do with "modify."

I sent them off to do a quick questionnaire to determine with which justice their views most closely align. Unfortunately, O'Connor and Rehnquist have not been remove and substituted with Roberts and Alito, but it will be interesting to see. My experience is that students are growing more and more conservative.

Be afraid.

**Filing down memory lane**

My daughter has left this morning for two weeks in the Galapagos. She was only in Quito for a week after 21 days in the eastern jungles of Ecuador. I noticed she hasn't updated her blog, but I am sure it will be worth waiting for.

Because she is gone, I am going to prepare a draft of her taxes for her. I put off taxes as long as I could, and have to do them to prepare the financial aid materials for my son. But in order to do them, I had to organize my files. Don't underestimate the time it took to clear the piles of paper off my desk. I spent the better part of two days as it inevitably leads to clearing out stuff already filed. I ended up with four grocery bags of shredded paper when all was through.

But (and this is the point of this entry), one of the joys of going through the files are the memories they trigger. Once such memory came from my daughter's old school materials. So I am posting the contents of a "letter of recommendation" her Colorado 5th grade teacher wrote for my daughter's application to an advanced academic program once we moved to Michigan.

Those of you who know her will appreciate this. By the way, this was and still is "E's" all time favorite teacher.

It was dated April 1, 1996:

Dear lady,

You will have "E" next year. Good luck!

She will never amount to anything unless you can find a way to control her. In her 2 years here I have very few positive things to say. She refuses to participate in class and is always distracted.

If this was the worst of I could say, I'd be happy, but she has several annoying habits that affect the entire classroom. She has a collection of animals that are constantly in the way. She demonstrates no interest in academic work and negatively influences those around her.

She does not form positive relationsips with adults or children. Her best friends are the chairs in the room who she talks to for hours. When she does interact with others, there is a strong likelihood of bloodshed.

On a positive note, "E" is often absent.

I hope all goes well. Please don't send her back.

**As vacation fades away**

I begin my last weekend before classes begin. I tried to get to the mountains this week but the weather has not cooperated. Too much snow coming down in the Cascades, so the roads have been a problem. So I went horsebackriding Wednesday instead of snowshoeing. Today, instead of snowboarding, I drove to the coast and walked the beach for hours. It rained on and off, all preview to a major storm making landfall late tonight in the Pacific Northwest. Gusts to 90 mph. It will hit my abode after midnight. Rattling windows will keep me awake again, I imagine.

**Flashback**

I woke up yesterday morning to a voice from the past: an old boyfriend from my grad school days at Syracuse in the early 1980s. Turns out he was doing a feature for NPR. I have to tell you it was very strange to hear him talking about Bosnian refugees in Utica, NY as I am gaining consciousness.

He spent many years working for NBC and apparently "retired" to a life of teaching college, in his hometown of Utica.

Somehow college teaching doesn't feel like retiring to me.

**State of DisUnion**

Why was Frist following around Bush after the SOTU address like a labrador puppy? He seemed intent on being in every shot of Bush as the prez worked the crowd.


And from the chronicles of shame:

After being invited to the SOTU address by A MEMBER OF CONGRESS...Cindy Sheehan is arrested for wearing a t-shirt with an antiwar comment on it.

Puleeze!


A friend of mine sent this little observation from Air America:

With Groundhog Day and the State of the Union Address falling in the same
week one cannot but note..

"It is an ironic juxtaposition: one involves a meaningless ritual in which we look
to a creature of little intelligence for prognostication, and the other involves a
groundhog."

**Reader's Digest version**

I am sure she will update her blog soon, but in brief, the blog will provide details on rafts, balsawood canoes, chiggers, amoebas, broken generators (read: no toilets, showers or drinking water), piranhas, anacondas, howler monkeys and a "red-eyed devil fish."

All appendages are intact.

**She's emerged!**

Just got a call from Coca, Ecuador. My daughter has emerged from 21 days in the deep jungle. I meant to ask if she has all her apendages, but was so excited to hear her voice on the other end of the line, I plum forgot.

I will post more details after I talk with her tonight. She has stories to tell. I suspect in the next couple of days she will catch up on email, so friends should start hearing from her soon.

She will be home in 5 weeks.

Yeah!

**Snow's a'comin'**

18-20 inches predicted in the Cascades tonight! I am planning two mountain trips next week. The biggest hurdle is not getting time off (ain't working, yet), or getting there (all wheel drive AND chains), but finding someone to go with. So, I may be venturing alone. Next Wednesday - probably daytime snowshoeing. Then on Friday, I am thinking... night snowboarding.

This is the view of Timberline Lodge on Mt. Hood probably late this afternoon.

Yes, this is the location for the exterior shots from "The Shining."

**Concerned about privacy?**

Then dig this.

**James H. Chalat**

Imagine my surprise when opening the pages of Newsweek last night and I see this article: One Lawyer'g Guide to Safe Skiing. The attorney is none other than the plaintiff who started the child support case that has made my life DIFFICULT, to say the least. Details are in the post below, along with a summary of the Colorado Supreme Court's waffly ruling.

So Chalat is a sports plaintiff's "go to" man if he/she wants to sue a resort, or an equipment manufacturer, or something. The photo of this dude, with the mountains in the background, along with the easy conclusion one can draw about his lifestyle and income (read: successful and rich) kinda makes you wonder.... Why was paying for his daughters education such an issue? I would like to ask him if he ever thinks about how his father's rights campaign (remember this has nothing to do with father's rights to be an equal participant in parenting, but rather father's rights to NOT SPEND RESOURCES ON THEIR CHILDREN'S EDUCATION), has screwed over others.

**T minus 12 days**

It is, I concede, pathetic to complain about this, but I am not at all interested in the day-to-day obligations of work which commence again in about 12 days. Traveling was fun, prepping classes is a drag, and other than watering my plant, I have avoided the office like the plague - instead working from home with my faithful dog companion curled up next to me (yes, that means on the furniture). But I fear a flood of "quit your whining" comments from those who haven't enjoyed a 6 week break from work that I enjoy each winter.

Even though I am not AT work, I am working. I have a script due in a few days so there are some deadlines looming. I was handed a new course to teach shortly before leaving for Ecuador. I have to redesign a control studio for the radio station. But in general, I am feeling pretty directionless and quite restless - neither of which helps my mood. Add to the mix, NO SUNSHINE in this part of the world for a month or more, and, well, I am understanding the appeal of being a Florida sunbird in the winter.

But there is more to this than the basic laziness and generally dreary weather that dampens my enthusiasm for another semester. I am well acquainted with this point in my job. At about the 4 year point, I get restless. Last time this happened I took another job within a year. I don't particularly want to move again, but I am getting pretty bored.

I thought law school would keep me focused and suitably overwhelmed for 4 years, but the coveted scholarship did not come through so I have withdrawn my deposit that holds my 1L seat. For the past year, law school (on top of full time employment) was my plan, my intellectual raison d'etre, so maybe the vacuum this change of plans has created might be contributing to this "floating" feeling. So, I am considering options:

• Another book - a more theoretical one this time (appeals to my intellectual AND masochistic side)
• Expand my technical training on multimedia software and lay the groundwork for opening a training center (appeals to my increase-my-income side)
• Become fluent in spanish (appeals to my trav-o-phile side)
• Re-learn Calculus (appeals to my want-to-understand-what-the-heck-my-son-is-learning side)
• Get serious about gaining some home improvement skills (appeals to my want-to-remodel-my-house-but-can't-afford-it side)
• Start investing in lottery tickets (appeals to my desire-not-to-work side)

Being a linear kinda gal, I would not do all these things well working on them simultaneously. So I am mulling it over.

**Building Nine**

One of the favorite parts of my Ecuador trip was not in Ecuador at all, but the layover in Houston visiting my niece. This visit included a "special" tour of NASA. And part of the tour included access to the inside of "Building Nine." Building Nine holds full-size mock-ups of the Space Shuttle and the International Space station among other things.

I recently picked up several DVDs on sail, one of which is "Space Cowboys." When the Daedalus team started training on the shuttle in this movie, using a mock up of the Space Shuttle, you could hear throughout my house the words, "Hey, that's Building Nine!" Clint Eastwood Tommy Lee Jones, James Garner and Donald Sutherland went right up the stairs in this picture. The movie also included shots of the four cowboys in a tiny little room (where we also stood) where Shuttle astronauts guide the cargo hold's robotic arm.

There also were shots in the movie of the water training area. We were not allowed to see that. Something to do with the past activities of drunken coops or interns or something.

Or maybe it was drunken politicians....

Overall, very cool having a family at NASA.

**A memory**

I was IM'ing with an old student who was still in bed at 10 am!!, and was reminded of a story about my father, who passed away about 20 years ago at the tender age of 55.

When I was in college my dad used to call me at 7 am on Sat. mornings and say, "Why aren't you up studying?" So one Saturday, when he called at 7 am, I had a guy friend answer the phone.

He never called that early again.

I miss that man everyday.

**Ecuador**

Well, I could go on and on about the trip to Ecuador, but most of you who read this blog have heard about it from those who travelled there. Here is a link to the trip pixs. So if images are your thing, have at it.

I will say this, Ecuador is an amazing country. Chaotic as hell, but things seem to work nonetheless. We traveled by bus and truck - no high faluting car rentals for us. I remain thoroughly impressed by the hardiness and flexibility of my young nieces and nephews.

I still am deeply affeccted by the indigenous community we stayed with. It brought back many of the feelings I had while living in Kenya.

I think most of all I was struck by the confidence, integrity and sensitivity with which my daughter moved through that country. She is fearless in new places. She embraces difference and revels in the cultural differences she encounters. My favorite moment: After several of us went through 30+ minute cleansing ceremonies with a shaman in our indigenous community, my daughter sat down for her cleansing. After about 30 seconds, the shaman stopped and indicated that she was done. Apparently, there was no bad energy to extract and no need to infuse her spirit with good energy. In a way I am not surprised, but I WILL find a way to poke fun at her for this.

**Colorado cut short**

The best laid plans sometimes are not to be. I am back home. The two week trip to Colorado lasted three days. Strained relations. Withdrawal. A cycle with which I am well acquainted. Shame it truncated the longest break I will have for some time. All I can say for now.

But the trip to Colorado involved more than vacation. I had round two in court. I mentioned round one in November. Didn't really talk about it though. But the end is nearing and I am astounded how far things have gone. The entire hearing was about an settlement agreement signed 10 years ago where a promise was made to divide, equally, all college costs. A cap to the contribution was set at the cost of a college state college or university education for up to five year of schooling. Currently that obligation is capped about about $7,500/year, per child for each of us. With the kids scholarships, it will cost about that much for each of us for both kids each year.

Silly me. I took this obligation seriously. I saved. Tucked away equity in homes when I sold them. I inherited some money from the sale of my grandparents home and stuck it in the college fund. With the generous scholarships my kids have managed to secure, I actually had saved enough to meet my obligation for each kid.

Then the "ex" petitions to relieve himself of this obligation. Says he doesn't make enough money. I should have seen the writing on the wall when three years ago he said, during a discussion about my daughter's college plans, that he had not saved anything. It didn't concern him over the years apparently because, as he said to me, "I just figured your mother would pay for the kids' college."

In most other states, a settlement agreement is a legal contract. But I had the stupid "luck" of divorcing in a state where the settlement agreement becomes an order of the court and is subject to modification. Complicate things by throwing in a recent court decision (the successful outcome of father's rights groups lobbying and a perfect test case) that eviscerates parental obligations - even pre-existing ones - and I was looking at a mess.

Here is the summary of the Colorado Supreme Court decision that is fucking with my life (Click here for the full opinion if you like reading this kind of stuff):

Petitioner Nancy Shapiro seeks review of the Court of Appeals’ decision reversing the trial court’s order obligating respondent James H. Chalat to pay his daughter’s full post-secondary education expenses pursuant to a 1984 decree of dissolution. The Supreme Court affirms in part and reverses in part.

Respondent’s agreement to pay his daughter’s college expenses is not enforceable as a contract term. Rather, respondent’s agreement was adopted by the trial court and incorporated into the court’s decree of dissolution. As a result, the trial court retains continuing jurisdiction to modify its orders concerning the daughter, including respondent’s post-secondary education support obligation. The child support guidelines statute does not divest the trial court of this authority. Respondent, however, may only invoke the trial court’s continuing jurisdiction upon a showing of substantial and continuing changed circumstances. Excluding a few specifically delineated situations that are inapplicable to the present case, nothing in the statutory plain language alters this clear, unambiguous requirement. Amendments to the post-secondary education support scheme alone do not automatically trigger a court’s continuing jurisdiction to modify child support orders. Accordingly, the Supreme Court holds that while the trial court retains continuing jurisdiction under the Uniform Dissolution of Marriage Act to modify its 1984 support order obligating respondent to pay his daughter’s post-secondary education costs, respondent must show a continuing and substantial change of circumstances to invoke this jurisdiction and thereby seek modification.

Given this opinion came down a couple month before the hearing it dramatically complicates things and makes it much more messy.

An expensive mess as it turns out.

Last October's hearing involved the "ex" testifying, since he brought the petition before the court. He basically said he had no money because he couldn't find work. This is a person who has never held a job for more than two years since we split. Never fired. Just kept quitting. The last job he had teaching in Europe he actually did hold for two years. Then he apparently took a teaching position in the Caribbean. After a couple weeks, he left that job and the country... rather abruptly. While the details are blurry, the parting was not good apparently and as I learned in court recently, he is basically blackballed from teaching in the country where he currently resides. So he works packing flowers for less per hour than the minimum wage on the U.S. west coast. My attorney asked him if he was committed to helping his kids with college. He said he would do what he could. My attorney asked him if he would return to the states and teach (Where he could make 35-40K). He said no. Liked the country he lived in too much. Except that he was willing to try the Caribbean. By the end of the October hearing, I began to wonder if he was right in the head. He was easily confused. Stoned, drugged, just plain stupid? I don't know. But it almost worried me. Then I remembered. He is not my problem. Phew.

This more recent hearing did not require his appearance. He listened in by phone. I took the stand. I mostly expressed my amazement that my ex had spent over 10K trying to avoid about 8K in back expenses and, at most, another 20K over the next couple of years. He also has forced me to spend 15K in attorney's fees so far. The second hearing got us through my testimony. The attorneys must submit written closing arguments. We won't hear the magistrate's decision until March sometime. I am reasonable optimistic because she seemed even-handed and willing to grapple with the complexities. This was a big change from the dufus that heard my ex's last petition about 10 years ago.

The irony is that even if she is reasonable fair about this, it is not likely the amount will surpass what I had to spend defending my kids' interest. With hindsight, it may have been best not to proceed. Just let him walk away from his obligation. But you never know beforehand that a halfday hearing would end up taking multiple hearings and that all offers of settlement would be rejected.

The whole thing, while intellectually interesting, completely sucked. I will have nothing left when this is over. I will probably have to take a second mortgage on the house, assuming I have enough equity. Or sell it. It is true what they say about these things. The winners are the attorneys. What the hell was my ex thinking?

The highlights of an otherwise sobering trip, both legally and personally: It snowed (I miss snow so much) and I managed to run by Annie's Cafe for a quart of green chili to go. Ate half of it at the airport waiting for my flight. The rest was gone within 24 hours of my return.