**What a little wine will do**

I just finished a fascinating conversation with my son. I learned quite a bit about his time with his father. One comment he made along with one comment my daughter made this past summer has got me thinking that once I no longer have to have a relationship with my ex - dealing with money, parenting and all the hostility that continues to accompany said conversations, even after 10 years - I want to write his current wife and thank her for two things. First I want to thank her for that moment at the coast last summer, in the midst of the family reunion, after the kid's father seemed uncomfortable or unwilling to interact with the kids, she told him that he NEEDED to spend some time with the kids. The kids were going for a walk on the beach and she told him to join them. The second thing she did was while my son was in Italy visiting them. She apparently took a real interest in my son, spent time with him and acted as a tempering effect on my ex's impulsiveness, narcissism and tendency towards instant gratification. Even though I think she fanned the flames of antagonism between my ex and me (maybe out of a sense of self protection), I still appreciate the attention she has paid to the kids.

But the converstaion also brought up discussions of A. and the role he played in the transitions to singlehood. It reminded me of how important a role model he was, even though it was not consistently in our lives. I see his influence in my son. It is good. I miss him still.