**No description necessary**

**One of the better phone messages I could get**

Except for a message saying I won the lottery (which was not on my machine), the best message on my machine was that my kayak is ready for pick up. A week early! Tomorrow will be a hectic day of cleaning up the house, mowing the yard, watering the garden, vacuming out the car and then heading to Tillamook to gerry-rig a rack system to pick up the kayak on Saturday, but not before we go see the Tillamook rodeo parade and hike one of the heads.

I may be having too much fun.

**The mind of an engineer**

This has been floating around the Internet for a long time, but I found it again and still like it:

Engineering Final Exam Question for a Heat Transfer class:

Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

"First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave.

Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities: 1) If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2) If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over..

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, " it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you, and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A "

**Bridal shower observations**

1. There was only one game; it involved answering questions about the bride-to-be. I got 14 out of 20, which would have gotten me a nice prize, but someone took it before I could act. It is for the best anyway, because to actually leave a bridal shower with a gift, especially one won in a bridal shower game, would have ruined my credibility as a bridal shower curmudgeon.

2. My gift rocked.

3. I might have to have a bridal shower some day for the following reason:

After seeing the loot, it occurred to me (as I dropped some big bucks on a 1/2 share kayak and equipment) that if I married the guy with whom I will be timesharing this kayak, we could have done a bridal shower and just registered for all this at REI. As a result, I am officially softening my cynical views on bridal showers in principle - that is, assuming REI has a registry.

**New Toy**

After much deliberation and informative "conversating" with knowledgeable kayakers and a most interesting salesperson at REI, who has apparently eaten at my grandfather's diner in Brooklyn, I have ordered and will be half owner of this touring kayak:
It is a beauty. 16.5 ft, with a rudder and hard chines. I considered another one, but the wait for it would have been months, and I have used this exact model kayak already and really liked it. I will pick it up from REI a week from Thursday and be on the water over the July 4th weekend. This one is made of fiberglass, so it is substantially lighter than the plastic kayaks and within 5 lbs of the lightest materials available. The lighter version - a composite glass/kevlar/graphite - was quite a bit more money. In fact, I accessorized the entire boat (splash guard, life jacket, graphite oars, mounts for the car, etc.), for the difference in cost.

I know a certain daughter who is going to really enjoy this boat. It is fast, low to the water and built for distance touring. Current dream trip: 1-2 week paddle of the emerging slot canyons in Glen Canyon and Lake Powell. Next actual paddle - the sloughs off the Tillamook River - to put the kayak through her paces. Then comes the froliking in the breakers at Netarts Bay... as soon as I get a wet suit and master the wet exit in this baby. This fall, I will take her to a pool in Astoria where a woman up there can teach me how to roll this thing - a tad more challenging a task than in a white water kayak.

**The Weekend**

It begins with training. I spend the morning learning how to record books at the local PBS facility. I will be doing this for a program that sends out audio books on a subcarrier current or some other radio frequency for people who can't read. I like doing audio books. I have read a couple on tape in the past - Bridges of Madison County and A River Runs Through It. I would love to do those again.

Then I am off to the "bridal shower." I have decided to go "sober," - meaning no flask or spiking coffee, but will pump up on caffeine - a more socially acceptable drug.

Sunday, it is kayak shopping day. I am ready. Summer is going to come here one of these days and I want to be in the water.

Where the heck is the sunshine anyway?!

I am on the brink of a major housecleaning/cleanout session. I promise - children of mine - that I will call you before tossing any of your stuff:)

**Conversation**

"Hey G. I am thinking of using some of your college tuition money for a kayak. Would that be okay with you?"

"Not a problem. That is why I am here in the hot sweltering city, selling myself to corporate America. I can contribute more to my education and you... you can buy a kayak."

"Well, okay. I was feeling kinda funny about it cause I didn't think I would be mooching off you until after you got your degree."

**I never thought I would do this**

I have successfully avoided these for most of my 46 years. I managed not to attend any for my sisters. I did have a small one myself (didn't enjoy it), and agreed to go to one of a friends maybe 15 years ago (didn't enjoy it). But I have always said no thank you to students who have invited me.

But I couldn't decline the invitation of a student who is such a dear friend and whose kindness (namely watching my dog anytime I got the urge to skip down to South America and who gives me cards and little gifts at unexpected times) is disarming. So it is with a mixed sense of "I can't believe I am doing this" and "I would do most anything to make this young lady feel my appreciation for her" that I have agreed to attend her...

Bridal Shower.

She is having four of them actually, because there are so many people who care for her. I asked that I attend the one that would not require me dressing up (is that so much to ask?). So I will be "bridal showering" with the wives of dairy farmers.

Fitting, I think.

**There be tickets**

The summer is taking shape as I just bought very reasonably priced tickets to Philadelphia in August. After some conferences and training workshops in California, I jet back and immediately head out to the east coast. On tap... a quick trip to Maine to pick up #1 daughter and then a beautiful drive to Bob's Lake for a week at the cottage. Best of all, I won't be making this trip by myself. Cryptic, no?

**Making appearances at work**

Not my preferred summer activity, but I am actually going to work today. I have to make some headway on a couple essays and edit a video. So there looms before me 40-50 hours of work I must complete inbetween summer activities before the end of the month. I am thinking 6 hours at the office today (including a lunch meeting) and I am off to the coast for the evening. Maybe if I am lucky... a nice sunset.

**Who needs a shrink when there is...**

Horse Camping!

Meet the nicest Quarter Horse I have ridden in years: Savannah Lynx


And of course, one of the best parts of horse camping is watching Shiloh relax. The transformation is glorious when she gets a few days out in the woods, running loose, eating camp dog food (kibble with a few extra treats), sleeping in a sleeping bag, and going for loooong rides with the horses.

Day1:
Day 2:

Day 3:

I hope to post some more pictures of horse camping as soon as I load them.

**Wonder weekend**

What a great weekend. If this is any indication I am going to have a highly memorable summer.

I spent Saturday in a touring kayak in an estuary area on the Oregon Coast. 3.5 hours of paddling non stop - my arms were a little sore that evening. But I will be doing it a lot this summer, so I imagine I will get used to it. Had a nice evening with a bonfire-send-off- graduation party for an exchange student living at the farm where I was staying. Sunday, I hiked the Tillamook spit - not too far, maybe 8 miles total with about half along the beach. The bayside part of the hike was scattered with wild strawberries. A couple of nice rain showers blustered in, but nothing to dampen the enjoyable hike. I ended up staying Sunday night as we had a wonderful dinner at a beachside cafe and watched the sun set. It was too late to trek all the way back. The added bonus of staying until that Monday morning, was that I got to see a calf born. The calf needed some help as it was breech. But the calf is doing fine now.

I am off horse camping in the Cascades this morning. More news and some pixs when I return.

**Who cares if it might rain**

I am off to learn to kayak this weekend with a very attractive gentleman.

A great start to the summer, if I do say so myself.

**Bob's Lake**

I have been thinking about this lake. My family knows it well. It is a long lake - maybe 15 miles long, in the Rideau Lake region of Ontario. There is several hundred miles of shoreline, which should invoke an image of lots of craggly coves. My family is going there for the 4th of July. It is too far and too expensive for me to join them this year. But it has been a couple years since I have been there. It got kind of hard to go when my brother - who owns the cottage on the lake and generously makes it available to all of us - would come with his latest girlfriend. That invariably involved small children, some his and some belonging to the latest girlfriend. There would be too much cigarette smoking. Now my brother has sworn off woman. I don't know what that means, but I hear reports that it is more pleasant to go there. So now the heart strings are tugging.

It must have something to do with the fact that my family grew up with "summer homes" to visit. My mother's family had a house in northern New Jersey. It was in the hills, with lakes and woods. There was an old overgrown pool at the edge of the woods and I remember a broken ceramic mermaid water spout at one end. We would walk with my grandfather through the woods. After his stroke, we would go back there on our own. There were good climbing trees in the yard and a grapevine trellis that you could walk through. My grandmother would pick dandelion greens in the back yard for the salad. At one point there was a wild animal park nearby.

My father's parents had a house on Long Island, right on the Sound. It was a very large rambling shingle home, with a big screened in porch overlooking the Sound from high up on the bluff. It was not winterized and was only opened in the summer. The driveway from the road wandered about 1/4 mile through woods saturated with poison ivy. Once, I thought I struck gold when I found a surfboard in the woods. Turns out it was my cousin David's board. At least that is what he said and he was bigger than me.

We would walk down this long boardwalk to the beach. Traversing the boardwalk without shoes was risky. Splinters were the price to pay. The top of the beach was sandy, but as you approached the water the beach became rocky. One summer pastime involved walking the beach and looking for polished glass. It could take years but eventually you could collect enough to fill a large vase. My aunt made a lamp base out of a container of this multicolored glass. Blue glass was always the most treasured and rare. I figured it came from broken Noxema jars. After a day at the beach, we all would shower in this makeshift shower in the garage - mostly to keep sand out of the house. Smart thinking when there were lots of little rugrats running around the place in the summer. I remember my grandfather feeding the raccoons and seagulls in the yard. I remember him getting us maraschino cherries from the cabinet. I remember my aunt making lunch cold cut trays with breads and condiments, set out on the long table every day for lunch. It would be the one time I would get to eat salami.

Well Bob's Lake brings back those memories. It is the summer cottage for our kids. We are hoping to all meet there for a week in August. If you want to see some pictures of the lake, I found this site.

**Namesake and Other Dog-Related News**

A big thanks to Brangelina for naming their new baby, Shiloh.....

after my dog. Well chosen.


And because dogs rule in Oregon, check out the recent court verdict. A guy, who ran over his neighbor's dog, for which he served 90 days for first degree animal abuse, now has been found liable in civil court to the tune of $56,000. It breaks down as follows: $50,000 in punitive damages, $6000 for pain and suffering and $400 for the value of a 14-year -old dog. I guess it is better than the cool $1.625 million the plaintiffs requested, in part for loss of companionship.

While the court did not recognize the loss of companionship because dogs are defined as property (a flawed analysis if you ask any dog owner), the court did buy the intentional infliction of emotional distress argument.

Oregon is one dog friendly state. The only place possibly more obsessed with dogs may be France, as evidenced by the French production crew at the trial filming a documentary.