Friday, July 08, 2005

**This is Big**

Yes, that is about the only way I can describe this trip to Yellowstone. Epic. Big. Life altering. I almost don't know where to begin. Let me begin by explaining why I went. My Yellowstone trip was to reconnect with the longest relationship I have ever had. Longer than my marriage. Even at the lowest point, it was better than my marriage. Together or apart, my feelings for him have not wavered. While together, I enjoyed the happiest times of my life, while apart I was the lonliest. When we focused on the important parts of life, the relationship flourished. When pride, fear of rejection, selfishness got in the way, we drifted apart.

I went to Yellowstone to break the cycle. I went to Yellowstone to do the only thing I thought I could do to hold onto what I think is real and enduring. I went to Yellowstone to... well read on.

I left about 4:30 am on Friday the 1st of July. Still dark, but necessary so that I could be in the park before dark. Because some of you may not realize how beautiful the Pacific Northwest really is, here are some pictures of the Columbia Gorge as the sun was rising.



Eastern Oregon was just as beautiful. I don't know if those not from this area realize how different the terrain is there. The west side of the Cascades are like a rainforest, but the eastern side is framed by beautiful ranching valleys and mountain peaks. This valley is particularly beautiful:



As will become abundantly clear, I spent the 14 hours of my drive feeling pretty nervous. I was definitely putting myself out there. Risky. Vulnerable. But no choice in the matter.

Arriving in Yellowstone I came upon a beautiful double rainbow (yes, I am always looking for signs), the end of which dipped down into the Old Faithful basin - just where I was headed. I globbed onto this bit of symbolism because, of course, I was looking for all the ammunition I could find to be able to say to me... and to A. ... this was meant to be. It was a beautiful sight...




Seeing A. was like seeing my oldest friend. It was like no time had passed and everything was timeless... all at the same moment. More to come....

4 comments:

Rosie said...

talk about a cliff-hanger! And not finishing the entry until after horse camping is just cruel :)

Someone on the cusp... said...

Agreed, but think of it as my personal equivalent of the next Harry Potter installment. Just not nearly as interesting nor as well written.

Leann said...

I'm looking forward to hearing the rest of this tale.

I live in Eastern Oregon so I appreciated the pictures. The Gorge is indeed an awe inspiring site.

It always amazes me how the terrain shifts from green and lush to barren and tumbleweeds.

Becca said...

Hm. Maybe this isn't quite the best comment for the public domain. But you've been yo-yoing with this guy for a decade. Have you ever considered "he's just not that into you?" (also the name of a popular book about the same subject). I mean, if you don't have much interest in a love life besides these occasional forays, then this is great. But if you want something lasting... well, I don't think he's ever going to give it to you, no matter how much you want it.

Yellowstone looks beautiful. I wish I was there right now :)!