Thursday, June 04, 2009

**Why I still miss Oregon**

Bill banning semen-throwing on its way to the governor

by Michelle Cole, The Oregonian
Thursday June 04, 2009, 3:13 PM


SALEM -- Usually politicians love the sound of their own voices. But not so when the topic is a proposed new law making it a sex crime to propel "a dangerous substance at another person."

That substance, as defined in House Bill 2478, includes semen, blood, urine or feces.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

**You can't saddle a horse that ain't been born yet.**

I have been contacting and thanking those people who provide advice and/or support during this promotion process and one of my dearest friends, who has listened to me angst in one way or another since we were in Ph.D. studies together, responded with his good wishes and his typically sage, Tony Hillermanesque advice.

I was talking to him about the pending insanity this summer with leadership changes at the school and the incredible staffing shortages I face because of budget cuts while simultaneously having to plan for a record breaking freshman class.

His advice (note that he is happily retired from a position similar to mine) is the title of the post.

Saturday, May 16, 2009

**We Be Promoted**

It took over a year - from the time I submitted my letter of intent - to hear the word. The Board of Trustees voted today and the mail came from an iPhone, which makes it all the more sweet. Someday I will blog about the insanity of promotion in academia - insanity raised to the level of an art form at some institutions, but all I can say is I started teaching 13 years ago with a plan to be a full professor the first moment I was eligible. I did it. Major career goal accomplished. Exhale.

Monday, May 11, 2009

**Does this count as a sabbatical?**

After a long respite, I am emerging from the abyss and thinking about the blog. Many, many times I have thought to post, and when the opportunity would come along to craft something, there was no time. I had pretty much given up posting - and I still might. I tried some less work intensive social networking options - Facebook and now Twitter - but I hate the new organization of Facebook, so I hardly go on it anymore. Twitter is still new so I don't know how it might fit into the way I work.

So the school year is largely done yet I face the prospect of working just as hard all summer. After all the angst over this country's private schools have a dearth of freshman next year, we - meaning where I work - managed to pull in the largest freshman class in the history of the college. It may take a hotel to house them all! So my summers now looks to consist of me wandering downtown trying to hire anyone who 1) is holding a camera and 2) is breathing.

Looks like the intensive traveling will subside for now. After AUS and NZ, spent 8 days in the Death Valley area followed by a long pre-swine flu weekend in the Yucatan. Now I am in LA - interviewing job candidates for a couple days, and quickly learning that everyone drives here - really, even if it the destination is a 5 minutes walk. My longest foray on foot has been from the apartment to the parking lot.

My one celebrity sighting? Honestly, I didn't know I was looking at a celebrity at the time. Someone had to tell me afterwards. Yes, my celebrity sighting: A woman with unnaturally large breasts, I mean bowling ball size and shape. I cannot tell you anything else about her physical attributes, as all I could see were breasts. Turns out she is a well known porn star. But I don't know how to IMDB her to find out her list of credits. You can't search using key words like "enormous boobs."

Sunday, December 14, 2008

**Unbelievably luck**

Who would have thunk it. On the eve of my birthday, I find out I won the lottery! My letter of resignation goes in tomorrow. You may start making requests, as I don't need all this money:

新しいメールアドレスをお知らせします
新しいメールアドレス: ukonlinelotterywinningnotifys26@yahoo.co.jp

Your email address has won you $4.6M from the UK Lotto online draws held on 09/12/08 Lucky #: MX014926583 and Free ticket #: APP236566301307. Contact Henry Lrmbert henry_lambert07@yahoo.com.hk with your official names, Nationality and resident country, address, tel/mobile #, date of draw, sex

- UK LOTTERY ORGANIZATION