One would think that at a small private liberal arts college, where the college president told me, in response to my job interview description of my Free Expression course where I make students actually exercise their First Amendment rights about something about with which they are passionate, "why this is a very civil campus," that such would apply to students with a propensity for delusions of entitlement.
One more week of classes and a student who started out as a triple major, is now just trying to finish one major, having burned the bridges in the other departments. In my department, for example, said student wanted to finish the last 4 of the nine courses in the major as independent studies, including the senior seminar and the advanced writing class. Keep in mind that faculty are not compensated for teaching independent studies. I said no. The student dropped my major, but then zoned in on the one department where there was a chance to complete a major and graduate on time. The modus operandi? Do a thesis instead of the required classes that were not available this semester. Thus the battle began. Inspite of this student's ongoing resistance to heading the advice of the thesis committee regarding the scope and depth of the thesis, these colleagues stuck with the student. Now apparently there are questions regarding the academic integrity of the thesis and the parent has shown up, and things are getting ugly... fast. This is one of those moments where cards are on the table - who backs faculty? Will the powers that be... be there? Where is the AAUP when needed?
Thursday, May 12, 2005
Monday, May 09, 2005
**It wasn't just rained that dumped on me today**
Well, this was a day where I managed to have a headache even with sufficient caffeine intake. I was up early this morning looking at my backyard as it rained and thought, I really don't want to go to work today - it feels nice just to hang out on my futon and watch the rain, drinking a homemade latte, watching the pup sleeping after a long night... sleeping.
I should have listened to that little voice in my head and stayed home.
My day consisted of reading and responding to a rather painfully sad email from post-divorce-long-term-long-distance-relationship-guy who never could make the big commitment, so to speak, wishing me a happy mother's day and reminding me that he will always love me.... I responded, making reference to the need to move on and trying to find some kind of happiness in my current life.... (I don't want to go into all the details right now... still processing) My response led to a phone call from him where there was an apology for never being able to take that final step and that I needed to know it was because of him not me. I understood the kindness behind taking responsbility for TEN YEARS of this, but it didn't make it easier to handle the overwhelming sense of loss. I looked at his picture tonight and lost it. I miss him so much.
Well if that tidbit in my personal life wasn't enough to make my day completely suck, the critically important person who basically saves my ass on a daily basis at the radio station I advise, was deeply offended by the comments of a student and left me a voice mail saying he was not working the daily newscast the rest of the week (can't fire him because he does all this work for free). I have no coverage for the hour shift tomorrow and it is now 10:30 at night.
My head is throbbing and I have grading to do. Screw it.
I am going to bed and grading in the morning. I am in way too bad a mood to be allowed near a purple pen (I use purple because it is less intimidating than red. See what a sensitive teacher I am?).
I should have listened to that little voice in my head and stayed home.
My day consisted of reading and responding to a rather painfully sad email from post-divorce-long-term-long-distance-relationship-guy who never could make the big commitment, so to speak, wishing me a happy mother's day and reminding me that he will always love me.... I responded, making reference to the need to move on and trying to find some kind of happiness in my current life.... (I don't want to go into all the details right now... still processing) My response led to a phone call from him where there was an apology for never being able to take that final step and that I needed to know it was because of him not me. I understood the kindness behind taking responsbility for TEN YEARS of this, but it didn't make it easier to handle the overwhelming sense of loss. I looked at his picture tonight and lost it. I miss him so much.
Well if that tidbit in my personal life wasn't enough to make my day completely suck, the critically important person who basically saves my ass on a daily basis at the radio station I advise, was deeply offended by the comments of a student and left me a voice mail saying he was not working the daily newscast the rest of the week (can't fire him because he does all this work for free). I have no coverage for the hour shift tomorrow and it is now 10:30 at night.
My head is throbbing and I have grading to do. Screw it.
I am going to bed and grading in the morning. I am in way too bad a mood to be allowed near a purple pen (I use purple because it is less intimidating than red. See what a sensitive teacher I am?).
Friday, May 06, 2005
**Apocalypse of a Republican kind**
Recently, NBC has been airing a mini-series called Revelations. It is about the end of the world as told through the book of revelations.
Now in spite of the fact that I once led a pre-college youth group for a church, I have not read the entire Bible, nor have I studied any section of it in depth. My knowledge of biblical scripture comes from three areas:
I at some point memorized Psalm 27 (The Lord is my shepherd...),
I have watched and listened to, countless times, Jesus Christ Superstar, and
I love Bill Cosby's version of Noah's Ark.
Yep that's it.
But there was one line in this mini series that caught my attention as I tuned into it on and off, It was a comment that after the Rapture, Satan as manifested on earth would not appear as we typically expect - the concrete embodiment of evil - but as deceptively alluring and appealing... to those who have not accepted Christ as their personal savior. Since this is ultimately a political analysis, let me substitute the reference to those "saved" for those stupid ignorant masses.
Upon hearing that line in the mini series, I had one of the moments that I would equate with the kinds of moments those born-again types say they have when they "accept" Jesus in their lives.
Yes it was a moment of crystal clear clarity,
my own revelation,
my own born again moment...
THE APOCALYPSE ALREADY HAS HAPPENED! - the day Bush was appointed in 2000. Bush is Satan on earth. It explains everything. Why else would the ignorant masses continue to be entranced by his beady little close set eyes?
For anecdotal support, let's just take a stroll through today's NY Times headlines....
North Korea... run by a certified nut, is starting nuclear testing. We are monitoring it by satellite, while we continue to pummel Iraq looking for.... what? Nada. We already caught Hussein, another mass murder and nut case and arguably the only justifiable reason for being involved in the affairs of a sovereign nation.
The two largest US auto manufacturers bonds have been reduced to junk status. Try and find a mutual fund that doesn't have something in these companies (save the green funds) and watch our retirements continue to evaporate.
Darwin is on trial in Kansas. Again. Now it involves the effort to introduce ON EQUAL SCIENTIFIC FOOTING the delightfully "spun" concept of intelligent design and a new requirement that evolution be challenged as valid science. Kanasa could use a good tornado enema of wrath of god proportions. I think that what is behind this is that Kansas is working subtlely to supplant Ohio as the future designated dirty bomb testing site. My personal position is that now that one can get a Starbucks latte on the I-90 turnpike in OH, we should give it to Kansas, Nebraska is a prettier state to cross anyway. The cornfields just seem nicer in Nebraska.
Other items: Bush is empowering funding starved states to take control over the ability to roll back road restrictions in our precious pristine national forests. Gee I wonder what will happen when Weyhauser shows up with a check for logging rights.
And if there was any doubt about the dark days ahead....
The Red Sox won the world series and the Yankees are in last place this season. Does nothing make sense anymore?
Now in spite of the fact that I once led a pre-college youth group for a church, I have not read the entire Bible, nor have I studied any section of it in depth. My knowledge of biblical scripture comes from three areas:
I at some point memorized Psalm 27 (The Lord is my shepherd...),
I have watched and listened to, countless times, Jesus Christ Superstar, and
I love Bill Cosby's version of Noah's Ark.
Yep that's it.
But there was one line in this mini series that caught my attention as I tuned into it on and off, It was a comment that after the Rapture, Satan as manifested on earth would not appear as we typically expect - the concrete embodiment of evil - but as deceptively alluring and appealing... to those who have not accepted Christ as their personal savior. Since this is ultimately a political analysis, let me substitute the reference to those "saved" for those stupid ignorant masses.
Upon hearing that line in the mini series, I had one of the moments that I would equate with the kinds of moments those born-again types say they have when they "accept" Jesus in their lives.
Yes it was a moment of crystal clear clarity,
my own revelation,
my own born again moment...
THE APOCALYPSE ALREADY HAS HAPPENED! - the day Bush was appointed in 2000. Bush is Satan on earth. It explains everything. Why else would the ignorant masses continue to be entranced by his beady little close set eyes?
For anecdotal support, let's just take a stroll through today's NY Times headlines....
North Korea... run by a certified nut, is starting nuclear testing. We are monitoring it by satellite, while we continue to pummel Iraq looking for.... what? Nada. We already caught Hussein, another mass murder and nut case and arguably the only justifiable reason for being involved in the affairs of a sovereign nation.
The two largest US auto manufacturers bonds have been reduced to junk status. Try and find a mutual fund that doesn't have something in these companies (save the green funds) and watch our retirements continue to evaporate.
Darwin is on trial in Kansas. Again. Now it involves the effort to introduce ON EQUAL SCIENTIFIC FOOTING the delightfully "spun" concept of intelligent design and a new requirement that evolution be challenged as valid science. Kanasa could use a good tornado enema of wrath of god proportions. I think that what is behind this is that Kansas is working subtlely to supplant Ohio as the future designated dirty bomb testing site. My personal position is that now that one can get a Starbucks latte on the I-90 turnpike in OH, we should give it to Kansas, Nebraska is a prettier state to cross anyway. The cornfields just seem nicer in Nebraska.
Other items: Bush is empowering funding starved states to take control over the ability to roll back road restrictions in our precious pristine national forests. Gee I wonder what will happen when Weyhauser shows up with a check for logging rights.
And if there was any doubt about the dark days ahead....
The Red Sox won the world series and the Yankees are in last place this season. Does nothing make sense anymore?
Thursday, May 05, 2005
**The dark side of match.com: A skirt and high heels, please**
I mentioned earlier the guy that constituted my brief match.com "experience." We had arranged to meet for coffee tomorrow actually. But his emails just seemed a little off. Sometimes they seemed genuine, and then the next would be cryptic and hard to understand.
Well, It is interesting to see how, in spite of my profile where I was quite clear that I was a causal, informal, blue jeans kind of person, not likely, ever really, to be found in a dress or skirt and Dockers are dressing up for me, that a person can miss all that and reveal to me that he has a specific "need" to see woman dressed in skirts and high heels. Hey, I am pretty damn open-minded about all sorts of things. but one would think that I would not be the best candidate for that particular fantasy given my profile, eh?
We won't be meeting tomorrow for coffee, if that little missive didn't make it self-evident.
But all jesting aside, it symbolizes a pattern I have observed on these services (and it may be that everyone else knew this already), that many men looking for a relationship define their needs,initially, in terms like "soul mate," "partner," "person to share lives experiences with," etc., but that is not what they really want or at the very least, they think that one gets there with sex. I hate trying to get out there again. Why am I bothering? No one else seems interesting to me.
Well, It is interesting to see how, in spite of my profile where I was quite clear that I was a causal, informal, blue jeans kind of person, not likely, ever really, to be found in a dress or skirt and Dockers are dressing up for me, that a person can miss all that and reveal to me that he has a specific "need" to see woman dressed in skirts and high heels. Hey, I am pretty damn open-minded about all sorts of things. but one would think that I would not be the best candidate for that particular fantasy given my profile, eh?
We won't be meeting tomorrow for coffee, if that little missive didn't make it self-evident.
But all jesting aside, it symbolizes a pattern I have observed on these services (and it may be that everyone else knew this already), that many men looking for a relationship define their needs,initially, in terms like "soul mate," "partner," "person to share lives experiences with," etc., but that is not what they really want or at the very least, they think that one gets there with sex. I hate trying to get out there again. Why am I bothering? No one else seems interesting to me.
**LeAnn: I am doing this for you instead of grading:)**
It is probably best to begin by saying that I am a "faller." I fall for people. I can make a friend quickly and cherish that friendship in relatively short order. Likewise, I tend to fall for guys pretty quickly. I did this through much of my young adulthood. I thought and still think I have reasonably good instincts Well, maybe not with one guy I briefly dated. I just woke up one day (and no, not with him) and literally didn't like him anymore. Everything he did annoyed me intensely. To this day I can't understand that lapse in judgment. I cringe at the memory.
But generally the gut serves me well. My ex was a gut feeling and we did stay together for 10 years. I will never consider that a waste of time (except maybe the last three years where I was largely miserable). But the kids, man. I would do it 10 times over for my kids.
My second loooong relationship was a gut too as one generally does not hold out much hope for the first relationship after a divorce. Those transitional relationships are almost by definition disasterous in nature. But I had a gut feeling about that guy and we stuck it out for a long time. I don't regret any of it, with the possible exception that I have known for some time it would not be more than an intermittent long distance relationship and, even knowing that, I gave over what were likely some of my best years to it. Sometimes that is hard to take.
I still love him. More than anyone I have ever known.
I also would still be with him if he we had not been separated by thousands of miles.
But I don't want to be alone forever, so I am hoping that even knowing I will always love him, it does not close the door to caring for someone else. I had always operated on the assumption that if I loved him, I could not love someone else and if I loved someone else, I would have to first fall out of love with him (which simply won't happen).
I know from having two children that one's capacity for love is not a zero sum equation. I remember being afraid after having my daughter and loving her so completely and intensely, that I would not ever love my son that much. Nothing could be further from the truth. My capacity to love just expanded and is infinite when it comes to my children.
So I am wondering if such could be the same in relationships. Could I love more than one person? Is the real question I face here one of choosing who, if anyone, to build a relationship and life with.
Sunday morning... Mother's Day. Maybe for Mother's Day I will send my Mother the URL for this blog. Not. An innocuous card will have to do. She hasn't talked to me in two months. I for one, will spend Mother's day on a dairy farm helping a friend milk cows while HER mother is vacationing at Disneyland. Milking cows - has a maternal quality, don't you think?
But generally the gut serves me well. My ex was a gut feeling and we did stay together for 10 years. I will never consider that a waste of time (except maybe the last three years where I was largely miserable). But the kids, man. I would do it 10 times over for my kids.
My second loooong relationship was a gut too as one generally does not hold out much hope for the first relationship after a divorce. Those transitional relationships are almost by definition disasterous in nature. But I had a gut feeling about that guy and we stuck it out for a long time. I don't regret any of it, with the possible exception that I have known for some time it would not be more than an intermittent long distance relationship and, even knowing that, I gave over what were likely some of my best years to it. Sometimes that is hard to take.
I still love him. More than anyone I have ever known.
I also would still be with him if he we had not been separated by thousands of miles.
But I don't want to be alone forever, so I am hoping that even knowing I will always love him, it does not close the door to caring for someone else. I had always operated on the assumption that if I loved him, I could not love someone else and if I loved someone else, I would have to first fall out of love with him (which simply won't happen).
I know from having two children that one's capacity for love is not a zero sum equation. I remember being afraid after having my daughter and loving her so completely and intensely, that I would not ever love my son that much. Nothing could be further from the truth. My capacity to love just expanded and is infinite when it comes to my children.
So I am wondering if such could be the same in relationships. Could I love more than one person? Is the real question I face here one of choosing who, if anyone, to build a relationship and life with.
Sunday morning... Mother's Day. Maybe for Mother's Day I will send my Mother the URL for this blog. Not. An innocuous card will have to do. She hasn't talked to me in two months. I for one, will spend Mother's day on a dairy farm helping a friend milk cows while HER mother is vacationing at Disneyland. Milking cows - has a maternal quality, don't you think?
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