**Top 7 reasons why you may want to think twice about working at a certain state university**

• 7) Exploit large number of applicants applying for faculty positions (because of the beautiful surroundings and generally excellent quality of life) by offering dismally low tenure track salaries (in a profession that already is a vow of poverty).

• 6) Harass a young female kicker of the university's Division 1 football team until she leaves the college.

• 5) Throw parties for young football recruits and toss in some alchohol and sex to boot.

• 4) Respond to resulting sexual harassment lawsuits by having an "independent" investigation, the results of which are then sealed by a grand jury.

• 3) Continue to perpetuate a culture of "openness" and transparency by initiating a Board of Regents investigation into the scholarly work of a tenured faculty member because the state's governor didn't like what said faculty member wrote in an essay... published three years ago.

• 2) Stabilize the clearly ruptured foundations of academic freedom, calm nervous faculty members, and alleviate the general feeling of anxiety caused by Board of Regents investigation by....

(and this is the #1 reason...)

• 1) Requiring that every faculty who is a U.S. citizen take a loyalty oath to support the state and federal constitution!

Where are the Jehovah's Witnesses when we need them?!