**Welcome to the hell that is financial aid**

There are plenty of reasons to hate this time of the year. The days are short, the sun is scarce, grey becomes a primary color....

But my number one reason is the arrival of year end tax information.

And so the dance begins.

It starts with the quiet pledge to get taxes done early. And if getting taxes done early means tossing even remotely relevant pieces of paper into a general pile on my desk - next to dirty laundry - then I can say, without reservations that I do get on my taxes right away.

It is the damn filling-out-of-the-tax-forms that stump me each year. The most embarassing part is that I don't fill out the forms. I completely exploit my relationship with my sister, aka best friend, aka confidente, aka life saver, aka personal advisor in all matters of love and finances, and have her do them on her computer tax program while I feed her data over the phone. AND STILL, I can't seem to get them out before April 15th.

Well dammit, this year is different. I HAVE to do taxes early. The key reason for this new found diligence is because my son is going to college next year. Financial aid is, like, really important. One of his top choices, Bucknell University, is

40,000 dollars a year!

That is more than I made last year (I know this cause I did my taxes)! Well, I have learned that you really have to WANT financial aid bad to apply, cause the process is a freaking nightmare. They want financial aid forms right after the first of the year! So as each day of the month passes, stress increases as W-2's and tax information doesn't arrive. Finally, when it all comes (6 days before financial aid deadlines)

I dive in.

• Learn first that the FASFA form requires registration and a PIN number that takes 3 days to process.
• Learn that several schools want a CSS profile also.
• Learn that CSS profile is part of college boards. Spend two days trying old usernames and passwords to re-enter son's old SAT account.
• Learn that it will cost me $90 to send CSS forms to colleges.
• Pay $90 and learn that dreaded ex husband must also file forms to several of the schools.
• Proceed to shut down computer and contemplate advantages of community college.

But my own private liberal arts school education has me sufficiently indoctrinated... or brainwashed... and next morning I pull all my resources together and draft an email to "him who must not be named." Now I have to say, I have a lot going against me here before I even send this email. He has hired an attorney who is trying in a "not too transparent way" to innundate me with busy work in preparation of a court ordered mediation over child support. So, needless to say, things are not smooth right now.

But hey, there is hope. Cause it is about our son, right? So I write, following up on his earlier inquiry - astute as it was - asking if our son's plans to attend college (keep in mind that I have pretty good evidence that he communicates with said son). This is mostly about rattling my chain.

I tell him that several schools need his financial information.... that I just learned about the requirement the day before.. and in case my son had not already emailed him, I was letting him know. I then provide a list of the colleges, how to get to the right site to fill out the forms and the password info.

About 48 hours later I get back the following email....

I received your email about the financial aid forms that I need to fill out for [son's name here]. Why on earth would you wait this late to send me these forms if it means [son's name here] may not be eligible for financial aid if they are not submitted on time? And, more disturbing to me, since when has it become the children's responsibility to be the couriers of information regarding financial matters between the two of us?

You might wonder why I left out the beginning where he THANKED me for providing him with all the information he needed to get to the site and fill out the forms.

Oh wait.. nope, he didn't thank me. An oversight I am sure.

Hmmm, why did I wait this late to email him? Because I thought it was just me filling stuff out and by any historical measure, 6 days before the deadline was pretty early for me. Surprise. Wasn't thinking about the ex. Like me, I thought the colleges wouldn't give a shit about him either.

But my favorite passage is the second sentence. What disturbs the ex more, apparently, is that our little baby of

17 years 340 days

is involved in his own college finances. Maybe I made a bad call here. I guess I just thought that since my son drives, shaves, backpacks, and lives on his own whenever I travel....

Dammit, under no circumstances should I have burdened my little boy with the responsibility to notify his father that there was a financial aid form to fill out.

Call social services now! I want to turn myself in!